Red Cross Blogs

Why Red Cross volunteers make the perfect Valentine date

By Mark Cox
February 13, 2010 at 10:00 am

Forget about Brad Pitt – move over, Megan Fox. According to our very scientific research*, it appears the key to having a really successful and sizzling Valentine’s Day is getting your paws on a Red Cross volunteer. Rawwr!

Not convinced? Then just take a look at the following nuggets of evidence, which clearly demonstrate how having a Red Cross volunteer as the special man or woman in your life will unfailingly spell out romantic bliss:

Good with money
With half the country drowning in debt and maxed-out credit cards, Red Cross fundraising volunteers regularly start a day with nothing in their pockets, then – by virtue of shaking a bucket or bathing in baked beans – end up with hundreds of pounds.

Fabulous mouth to mouth
Lots of people rate themselves as good kissers, but how many other people do you know who would spend hours practising on a plastic dummy to perfect their technique?

Magical massage
Pity the masses who, asking their partners for a nice romantic Valentine massage, either get tickled to distraction or painfully kneaded like a human-sized piece of bread dough. Therapeutic care volunteers are carefully trained to provide the perfect soothing massage – and those pesky keep-clothes-on and no-baby-oil rules don’t apply in a domestic setting.

Sensible shoppers
Many men fear their partner’s return from the clothes shops, anticipating the filled bags and empty purse. Not so the lucky chap who lands a Red Cross retail volunteer. Despite helping to raise millions each year, she knows all about value and spotting a bargain – and can be trusted not to trouble the haute couture boutiques too regularly.

Not couch potatoes
Many women resent being sports widows, silently fuming while their loved one sprawls on the sofa scratching his backside and watching hours of football on the telly. However, event first aid volunteers generally get their sports fix by actually attending the fixtures. And that means their spouse gets the sofa, telly and fridge contents all to themselves for a relaxing afternoon. Cheers!

Brilliant detectives
The one fly in the ointment, unfortunately. No matter how hard you might try to lose your parents-in-law, any half-decent Red Cross volunteer with links to the tracing and message service will always be able to find them again.

So, we hope you agree, on the whole the case is irrefutable. Brad can keep his washboard stomach muscles and Megan is welcome to her, ahem, assets. If you want a truly special Valentine’s Day, make sure you spend it with a Red Cross volunteer.

*We asked four people in the office

---

Comment (0) »

---

Tags: charity shops, First aid, first aid training, fundraising, Health and social care, international tracing and message service, volunteer, Volunteering

The Red Cross values comments both complimentary and critical. However, we will not tolerate the following: aggressive or personal criticism of the blogger, breach of copyright, obscene, defamatory, profane, sexually oriented, racially offensive or likewise objectionable comments.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 13th, 2010 at 10:00 am and is filed under First aid. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

---